I want my child to go to the best school in town. I want my child to get the best food, dresses, gadgets and facilities wherever he/she goes. I want my child to face no difficulty whatsoever, in daily routines. I will fulfill all my child’s desires. In short, I want my child to live like a prince/princess! As a parent, this is the perfect world you think your child deserves. You are ready to do anything within your means to achieve that. You want the child to get the best of everything which you never got yourself.
This is the legitimate desire of almost all parents, who toil day in and day out, go through all the trials and tribulations and are prepared to make sacrifices to any extent just to get this best world for the child. No problem with that. The trouble starts the moment you expect things in return from your child.
Having given and done the best that you can for your child, you expect your child to:
1) Get the first rank in school and get admission in the best college/institute.
2) Come out on top in all the competitions in the school.
3) Get approval, acceptance and appreciation from everyone for impeccable demeanor.
4) Become a famed Engineer/Doctor/Lawyer/CEO of a Multinational Company/Businessman etc., and roll in money, power and fame.
5) Get the best spouse and children and get the best friends and relationships.
And the list goes on. When any of these expectations are not fulfilled, you feel let down. You are devastated. And you don’t refrain from expressing your disappointments with your child.
What should you do to avoid heartburns?
1) Step back a bit and check whether any or all of the above expectations are reasonable, practical or within your child’s capabilities. Every child has a life of his/her own. Each child has unique traits, capacities and talents. Remember, the child is not merely an extension of yourself to achieve all that you haven’t.
2) Try to identify your child’s special interests and talents. Encourage and motivate your child to pursue them freely and achieve successes at his/her own pace and in a manner most comfortable for the child. Never lose sight of your role as a guide and provide solid support. Be always available to your child and help in overcoming obstacles.
3) Let your child learn to cope with realities of life and enjoy the journey without getting stressed. That means you shouldn’t burden your child with your expectations. Many of today’s children go through depression and are even driven to extremes of suicidal tendencies because of extreme guilt felt by them for not living up to their parents’ expectations. Your love and support should be unconditional. Remember, your child’s successes and happiness in life emanate from a sense of self worth and confidence which must not be tinkered with, through your high expectations.
4) You may push your child to do better and better and realize his/her full potential by empowerment, instead of burdening and stressing your child with your expectations. Your child will be happy and peaceful when he/she knows that your love and support will stay the same irrespective of the extent of your child’s achievements/failures.
|Helicopter Parenting |
If you are constantly hovering over your kid and watching every move, you are helicopter parenting. Read on to know the pros and cons of helicopter parenting.
|Behaviour Problems |
As you read on, you will come to know of some basic things you should be aware of when you try to resolve some of the problems with your kid.
|Learning Disability |
If your child find it difficult to learn even simple commands or sentences; especially when not associated with physical disability; you should consider assess your child for learning disability.