You desperately want to change your kid, don’t you?
You want those nagging, recurring problems with your kid - toddler or a teen - to end for good.
You want your kid to have a well rounded, self confident personality.
You want to help your kid face this world and succeed.
What is it you can do to change your kid’s behavior?
If we say you can’t change anyone, least of all your kid, you will be stumped. But there are quite a few things you can do to effect a desirable behavior in your child. It starts with a change in yourself. Yes, there is one person you can change and that is yourself.
Three simple and easy steps to bring about desirable changes in your kid permanently:
1) Start by shifting to a reverse gear and look inwards to calm your mind.
Instead of getting irritated, angered, frustrated, worried, disappointed or depressed on auto mode with your kid’s unruly behavior, try to stay calm and unruffled.
This is emotional stability, which gives you the power to handle the situation better by letting you think clearly; decide quickly, firmly and correctly and act appropriately. Your kid will slowly begin to fall inline.
If, on the other hand, you get agitated by your kid’s behaviour, you generate negative energy that hits your kid first and that too forcefully, before you utter a single word or do any act to make your kid fall in line. Any amount of cajoling afterwards, with honey coated words and bribes or reprimands of any degree, may at best
produce some effect temporarily. Very soon, it will be back to square one.
2) With a stable and calm mind, you talk to the kid lovingly and patiently.
When you remain stable emotionally, you harness the power and strength and radiate the right energy towards your kid. First, you accept the kid’s behavior as one emanating from his/her strong tendencies which are unique to an individual. Acceptance doesn’t mean what the kid did is right.
With a stable and calm mind, you talk to the child lovingly and patiently to let him see reason; show the kid the right way and instruct him/her firmly, to follow it.
You may have to repeat this exercise several times over, without losing patience till the kid begins to gradually take to the new, healthy habit.
3) Encourage the kid to persist with the new habit.
Stay with the kid and encourage him/her to carry on with the new habit till it becomes second nature to him/ her. Now the kid has changed for good and will remain that way. His/her self esteem stays. Your friendship with your kid stays. No heart burns or hard feelings on either side.
The above approach generally applies to all types of behavioural problems of the kid. However, in the articles that follow, we will look at some specific measures tailored to address each problem separately, keeping the above basic approach intact.
|360 Kids Day Care Counselling Corner |
Ms. Rekha Jyoti is Behavioral Coach for Kids in our Day Care Centre