Your cozy little family just got bigger! The second kid has just arrived while your first one is still a toddler. It can either mean multiplication of joy two fold or double trouble for you as parents, depending upon how you look at it. Naturally, if you have thoroughly enjoyed every moment of raising your first kid, sailing through all the little or tough challenges, facing them confidently and overcoming them gracefully, your joy increases manifold, not just two.
On the other hand, if you had struggled, panted, whined, felt frustrated and exhausted on your way with the first one, you will obviously feel bogged down with the additional responsibility. You have the option to become aware of your mistakes which you committed with raising of your first kid and take corrective actions in time to make it more of a pleasure with the second one. But what about your first kid? How is he/she going to take it?
Your first kid’s attitude towards the second one in the family:
Unless you are careful, your first kid will suddenly feel isolated and unwanted when all the attention and care he/she has so far enjoyed exclusively, has suddenly shifted towards the new one. At this crucial juncture, many parents make the big mistake of taking the first one for granted. The result is anger, jealousy and resentment for the first kid towards the second. The first kid will try all tricks to win your favour back and display his/her resentment towards the second one vehemently, even going to the extreme of causing physical harm.
So, what should you do to make the first kid happily accept the second one?
1.Prepare the first kid adequately, well before the birth of the second one. Tell him/her that the second tiny one, a good brother or sister, is on its way to be the playmate. Let him/her look forward to the second, enthusiastically. Tell him/her, being the big brother or sister, should look forward to take up the responsibility of protecting and taking care of the little one. Tell the first kid all the things he/she can teach, share and play, with the second one.
2. After the birth of the little baby, take care to involve the first kid in attending to all the chores to the extent possible. It is important to let the first one feel wanted and involved. Take care never to let the first kid feel ignored. Ensure the same from other family members and relatives.
3. Ensure that all the routines with the first kid are persisted with, as they were before the arrival of the second one. Let the first one not feel that his/her comforts are being compromised for the sake of the second one.
4. Explain to the first kid, how he/she was pampered with, loved or cared for in the same way when he/she was as small as the new one.
5. Discuss ways to handle the new baby and let the first kid take decisions on small issues with the new baby.
With this approach, the first kid will develop excellent affinity and bonding with the second one that will stay on lifelong.
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