Tantrums in Children and how to control them
Why children throw tantrums?
Parents at our daycare center in Dwarka came with problems related to tantrums like crying, thrashing, screaming, kicking, and throwing objects, especially in public places. Few reasons behind this kind of behavior in children found are discussed below:
Hunger, tiredness or need for a change – some times because of hunger children start crying badly and cannot be consoled until their stomach gets filled completely. Sometimes children show their need for a change, like change of diapers or clothes; by getting irritated and sometimes become unable to sleep and because of tiredness needs to be comforted.
The child may show this kind of behavior in order to seek attention as the child may feel that crying is the best way to express their needs and convey their demands.
Children lack patience – usually children have very little self-control; they live in the present and want everything immediately. They feel that if they do not get what they want immediately, then they will never be able to get. So they feel that showing tantrums is the easiest & quickest way to get their demands fulfilled.
Children can't think logically – children can’t think and reason as we adults do. They are not able to understand things from parent’s view point. So they revolt against the adults when their demands are not fulfilled by throwing tantrums.
When the child is unable to speak – The child can also throw tantrums if he/she is not able to express his/her needs verbally. When the child feels that he is not able communicate his needs or demands to his parents or adults in proper words or when feels that he is not being able to draw their attention, he becomes frustrated and shows it in form of tantrums.
So, basically children show tantrums in order to draw attention towards their needs, especially when they are uncomfortable.
What Parents should do to control tantrums?
1. Try and observe the situations or conditions under which the child starts throwing tantrums.
2. Swift yourself into the mental frame to handle the situation patiently and peacefully.
3. Try to distract your child by showing something different, getting him/her something that is more appropriate or you can also carry the child to some other place. The idea is to change child’s mental status.
4. Plan the baby’s bag. Before going out with the child you can you carry few favorite things of your child like small toys, sipper, toffees, biscuits, etc. to distract the child when the child starts crying or throwing tantrums. In case of babies, never forget to carry their food, milk, water, diaper & extra clothes for change, so that you are fully prepare to comfort your baby outside home and enjoy your outing also.
5. Avoid getting overindulged in shopping, in front of your child. When we are busy shopping essentialities and at the same time reject even a small demand from child, they get hurt and show frustration in form of tantrums. So sometimes it’s also crucial to understand things from child’s point of view.
6. Allow the child to explore under your supervision. Child wants to learn by exploring. They want to touch and feel whatever new appears before them. So allow your child to touch, look & explore things of interest under your supervision on even for few minutes. This will help him gain a sense of satisfaction and independence and the child will have fewer tantrums.
7. Children live in the present. Child reacts differently at each new moment. Sometimes giving in to the child’s demand is good than being too rigid. So you need not worry that the child is going to remember when you gave in to him for the lifetime and will exploit you later on. Learning to deal with tantrums in a patient & reasonable manner that is respectful of your child’s development, interests and temperament is good a practice and can pave the way to smoother parenting and a happier & calmer child.